WIRX “Decoding Carnivale” Call-in with Clancy Brown • 12-2-03

This is the transcript from Clancy’s radio call-in segment on Southwest Michigan’s WIRX/Rock 107.1, with John Jay and Brother Phil.

John: (Carnivale Theme Music starts up) Rock 107/WIRX. It’s 8:06, and the News Center 16 Storm Team Forecast: today partly cloudy, very windy, high of 43, 33 for the low overnight tonight.

Phil: Very scary, too… Mysterious…

John: Very, very dusty out there, and windy, and blowing… The final episode was on last night of “Carnivale” on HBO.

Phil: The Season Finale!

John: The Season Finale… Let’s not say final, let’s just say Season Finale.

Phil: Yeah, it better not be the final!

John: Yeah! No man, I’m tellin’ you what! And Clancy, once again, welcome to the show, and thanks for all the time you’ve spent with us, and I really don’t know what’s been in it for you, but I’m not questioning the fact that…

Clancy: (laughing)

Phil: Next week, we start Decoding SpongeBob!

John: That’s right!

Phil: (laughing)

Clancy: There ya go…

John: Looking for hidden messages within “SpongeBob SquarePants.” So, Mr Krabs, what did it REALLY mean when you walked backwards on Bikini Bottom?

Clancy & Phil: (laughing)

Clancy: (Mr. Krabs voice) Well, I argued with the producers over that one! I thought it was too obvious!

John & Phil: (laughing hard)

Phil: What’s on special this week at the…

John: I dunno man…

Clancy: (laughing)

John: “Carnivale” last night was pretty awesome!

Clancy: Didja like it?

John: Oh, I thought it was an awesome show, and there was a… Boy, what an expensive night for the Carnivale! They lost three people!

Clancy: Well, ya know… I GUESS they lost three people! But, ya know… They might have, like, “roast vegetables” for a while…

Phil: Yeah, ya never know…

John: God! Well, Lodz… We lost Lodz!

Clancy: (“can’t believe it” laugh) Yeah…

John: At least we THINK we lost… well, actually four! Apollonia, Sophie, Jonesy, and Lodz…

Clancy: Yeah.

John: That was a pretty catastrophic evening for the folks at the Carnivale!

Clancy: Yeah, and I think… I think that other little girl is probably gonna go out and off herself… the other little lesbian.

John: Yeah… I liked the little lesbian scene…

Clancy: (laughing)

John: Sophie’s little comeuppance scene for everybody.

Phil: Uh-huh…

Clancy: (wicked voice) Ya know, they did that just for YOU!

John: I know they did… You went to the producers and said, “Hey, put some lesbo action in there for my boys in Michigan, wouldja? They’re really gonna like that!”

Phil: (laughing)

John: And you got… One of the nicest lines, I thought, the nicest scenes in the whole thing last night, was your meeting with the Radio Guy. What the hell’s his name?

Clancy: Yeah, Tommy Dolan!

John: Right, yeah!

Clancy: Our John Jay!

John: And you said to him, “I’m reminded of the phrase, ya know, making a deal with the devil.”

Clancy: “Making a deal with the devil.”

John: And he says, “Oh, I’m not THAT bad!” And you said something like, “No, YOU’RE not that bad…”

Clancy: I said, “No… Of course you’re not….”

John: “Of course you’re not…”

Clancy: I was just joking! (laughing)

John: Tommy, it’s YOU that’s makin’ a deal with the devil! Not me!

Phil: (laughing) That’s right!

Clancy: Hey, maybe five! Maybe Balthus died, too! I mean, there could be… There could be lots of bodies next season!

John: The body count was HUGE last night!

Phil: They’re gonna have to recast next season!

Clancy: Yeah, and bring in some more people.

Phil: Fresh meat!

John: If we were not lead down HBO’s primrose path last night, the body count was significant! I mean, four carnivale members, minimum! And I liked the scene with Nick Stahl, with Ben almost offing himself!

Clancy: (giggling) Yeah, THAT’S a solution to his dilemma!

John & Phil: (laughing)

Clancy: “Yeah well, ya know? I’ll just kill myself!”

John: Wow! “I’ll just slit my own throat right here!”

Clancy: “And then it will all be over!” (laughing)

John: Yeah, God… And then Scudder… Then, ya know, John Savage gets to come in on the last episode, ya know? It’s like, “Hey, thanks a lot! Final episode, I get one line. Beautiful!”

Clancy: (laughing)

John: And that’s about it.

Clancy: Does is all make sense to you now?

John: Well…

Clancy: Do you all know what’s going on?

Phil: No.

John: No, it doesn’t make complete sense, but…

Clancy: (sputtering) Oh, but…. ack!

Phil: I toldja, I toldja when John was gone that one week that I’m not as deep… I didn’t go to the film appreciation class.

John: It does not make perfect sense to me yet, but at least I’m pretty confident now that I’ve got the good and evil part of it separated, ya know?

Phil: Um-hmm… You’re evil!

John & Phil: (laughing hard)

Clancy: Yeah, well, what can I say…? It sure SEEMS that way, doesn’t it?

John: I was suspicious in episode two with the black contact lenses, but now I’m pretty sure!

Clancy: (laughing)

Phil: Well… And last week, when you were handing the razor blade wafers…

Clancy: Well, that was BEN’S dream, not mine…

John: Yeah, that was Ben’s dream!

Phil: I know! But the look on your face was, “Oh, man! He’s evil!”

Clancy: (chuckling)

John: I like the razor blade Hosts…

Phil: Yeah, that was good…

John: There’s some sick monkeys writing that show, let me tell ya.

Clancy: The blood of resurrection and the fire of… whatever I said. I dunno. I’ve forgotten it all now. It’s all over, it’s all outta my head, so… I’m useless to you.

John: That’s right. And you’re his greatest evil! Ya know?

Clancy: (hesitates) Yeah… Ya know, I was talking with Dan about that, and it might not be “greatest evil.” That might not be sorta the tag line to those little trips into the subconscious that we take.

John: Right.

Clancy: It might be sumthin’ else…

John: Really?

Clancy: Yeah, it might be sumthin’ else. Like, you gotta think about what the motivation of the person is that goes down those little paths and takes those journeys, so…

John: I was somewhat disappointed…Not, ya know… I was disappointed that you…

Clancy: Yeah, you were hopin’ to see Pa Walton & Ma Walton, weren’tcha? (chuckling)

John: I was wondering what was gonna happen with that giant candelabra! I was lookin’ for some sort of bashing-in of the skull of Justin Crowe, and then… uh, some sort of resurrection thing!

Phil: Mm-hmm!

Clancy: Oh, I see… yeah.

John: But that’s not what disappointed me. I was a little disappointed that there was no real non-dream state confrontation or physical contact between you and Ben Hawkins. But the conflagration between good and evil, I suppose, has to happen later

Clancy: Well, ya know what? This first season is like the first book of a novel. Ya know? Ya gotta get these characters logically to a point where they are gonna do battle. You can’t, like, just say, “These guys are opposed or these guys are allied…” or whatever, and then go forward. Ya know, most TV shows, they just say, “Okay, he’s a Good Guy, he’s a Bad Guy, and they’re gonna fight,” and you’re never gonna know WHY! Or even how the people, themselves, got to that point…

John: Right.

Clancy: So that’s sort of what the first season was about. And that’s gonna upset some people, but I appreciate it, personally.

John: Do we then have you on record that there will be a season two?

Clancy: No…

John & Phil: (groaning) Oh! Arrrrgh, no?!? Aw…

Clancy: No, ya know… You can have me on record as saying I sure think there is! And I sure hope there is… But there’s been no official word.

John: Really?

Clancy: It’s not up to me…

John: I know, but I just thought you were spillin’ something.

Clancy: I wish it were up to me!

John: I thought you were spillin’ some Clancy beans there.

Clancy: I dunno, man. A lot of people put in jeopardy, that’s like an old Hollywood trick to say “Don’t renegotiate!” (laughing) Ya know? So…

John: Exactly.

Clancy: (laughing) Ya know, Jonesy got very popular there for a while. So they just might be sayin’, “Hey, Tim… If you’re thinkin’ about asking for a raise… Think again!”

John: We’ve gotcha in the burning bus, buddy! You might not come out!

Clancy: You might not come out… (laughing)

John: Yeah, well, I was thinkin’ that last night when your head was on the altar rail!

Clancy: (laughing) Yeah!

John: And we had Pa Walton poised over your head with a five pound candelabra… I’m thinking, man! Maybe Clancy’s really been, ya know, standoffish about season two. Cuz his head gets bashed in here in the next…!

Clancy: (chuckling)

Phil: Maybe it really won’t happen!

Clancy: I’m even askin’ for it!

John: Man, this is gonna be a GREAT show tomorrow, if he gets killed! But no… He backed off… And then that was the, ya know… You had the black contact lense scene, and that was pretty much it for you, right? Wasn’t that the last scene of you in the show?

Clancy: No, man! I sat down on my bed with my sister, and we talked about what God wants…

John: Oh, yeah!

Clancy: And then we went into the church, in virtual darkness…

John: Oh, yeah, yeah!

Clancy: I gave this big, long political speech…

John: That’s right, the soliloquy in the end, as we kept flashing back and going across to the carnivale, while you were talking.

Clancy: Yeah.

John: Which was good stuff. I really enjoyed that!

Clancy: Good!

John: Yeah, that was a great show! I thought it was a great show. And I thought it was… There was a lot of satisfaction that Ben finally sort of realized, ya know, what he was. And he couldn’t just walk away from what he was. And we heard from management a little bit more… Management sounds female to me, to be honest with ya…

Clancy: Does it? Yeah, well, it’s definitely Linda Hunt.

John: Oh, it’s definitely Linda Hunt? Wow! Really?

Clancy: Yeah! So, you know…

John: I didn’t know that!

Clancy: So, but ya know… She’s… It could be a female. It could be male. I’m really not sure.

John: But it’s Linda Hunt’s voice?

Clancy: But it’s Linda Hunt’s voice, yeah.

Phil: Ah, okay…

John: But you don’t have a Linda Hunt without committing to a season two. I gotta believe that HBO’s gonna…

Clancy: But you can have a Linda Hunt without committing to a gender, okay? (chuckling)

John: Yeah, sure! (laughing) That’s absolutely the truth. But I thought it was a great show.

Clancy: Okay, dudes… What’s gonna happen NEXT? Who gets off the bus?

John: I think Jonesy gets off the bus.

Clancy: Do ya?

John: I don’t think Sophie and Apollonia get off the bus.

Clancy: You think they’re both goners?

John: Yeah.

Clancy: Okay…

John: I, uh… The actress who played Sophie?

Clancy: Uh-huh…

John: I wasn’t sure quite what to think of her… She’s one of those actresses where… I mean, I thought she did a great job on the show, not her acting! I’m talking about… Like, she’s one of those women you see on TV, and you go, “Okay… I wonder what she looks like… Like, if I saw her in Letterman…” And that’s what I always think of, if I saw her on… Like she’s kinda good looking, and then at other times, she doesn’t really… Ya know, she’s not all that. And then, ya know, you wonder what she looks like in real life!

Phil: She’s like the good light/bad light attractive, like from “Seinfeld.”

John: Right, like on “Seinfeld.”

Phil: (laughing) Sometimes she looks good, and other times…

Clancy: I find her very attractive.

John: She did a wonderful job on the show. If that was her final scene, it was awesome for that actress!

Clancy: Yeah, you liked that?

John: But I gotta believe they’re bringin’ back Jonesy. You gotta keep the gimpy carnivale manager, don’tcha?

Clancy: Yeah, and maybe he’s even MORE scarred!

John: Yeah, oh absolutely! There’s more scars for Rita Sue to kiss!

Clancy: Yeah, there you go! (laughing) Rita Sue won’t be able to RESIST him if he has a couple of burn scars on him now…

John: Yeah, let me give you a burn job, Jonesy! Oh, argh!

Clancy: (laughing) You saw how excited she was when he jumped in that burning bus…

John: Was Stumpy gonna cap Rita Sue? That’s what I’m thinkin’!

Clancy: Ya know… I dunno. But I’m gonna cop to sumthin’ that I probably shouldn’t… and don’t ever tell my wife… But, like, who HASN’T had the thought, “If I had a gun, right now…”

John: Oh, man!

Clancy: Ya know?

Phil: Exactly!

Clancy: What married couple?

John: That’s what I was thinkin’! It’s a good thing that Rita Sue said all the right things in that little meeting there.

Clancy: Yeah… But, ya know, it could have been HER sittin’ there with the gun, too. I’m not saying just guys… (laughing)

John: Oh, I know! That’s why it’s not a good idea to have one sittin’ in your nightstand! Ya know?

Clancy: I know.

John: Well, he sat there and said… What did he say? “I have a plan, but I’m not sure if…”

Clancy: “I don’t think I can do it.”

John: “I don’t think I can do it…” And he had a gun hanging there by his side.

Clancy: Yeah… We don’t know what his plan was. Was he gonna cap himself, or her, or whoever? I dunno…

John: Well, I, myself, am happy to see a Stumpy and a Rita Sue back together!

Clancy: Yeah, isn’t it nice to see that pimps and whores have the same kind of domestic quarrels that all of us do?

John: Yeah, I like it when his daughter, his beautiful daughter, is getting dressed up to go out, and he says, “What? Have ya got a Johnny?”

Clancy: “Hey, hey… that I don’t know about?!?”

Phil: That’s heartwarming…

Clancy: “Don’t you be holding out on me!”

John: This heartwarming family tale…

Phil: Well, it’s the holiday season, she has to go out and make a little bit more cash.

Clancy: Yeah, just a teenager going out on a date…

John: Well, I tell ya what. It was a good show, and it was a great run! I sure enjoyed “Carnivale,” Clancy…

Phil: Absolutely!

John: And the chats with you on Monday have been a blast, really!

Clancy: Wow! What am I gonna do now?

John: I dunno… You’re gonna sleep, I guess!

Clancy: I dunno. I don’t think I can!

John: I might just call you on Mondays to bug the hell outta ya!

Clancy: What the heck?

John: Ya know?

Phil: We’ll Decode something else! (laughing)

Clancy: What the heck, we’ll talk about Arnold… We’ll talk about Governor Schwarzenegar.

Phil: There ya go!

John: Are you still living in California? Or have you guys all decided to move across the border now?

Clancy: Yeah, well, ya know… Mexico’s got those great parties…

John: What are you guys doing out there? Is everybody just shaking their head about that whole deal?

Clancy: We’re just waiting to see what happens, ya know? We feel like Minnesotans!

John: Well, hey! We’re gonna join the club before too long. Ya know, Ted Nugent’s thinking about running for…

Clancy: AWESOME!

Phil: Yeah, wouldn’t that be good?

Clancy: Awesome!

Phil: “Wang-dang Sweet Poontang” up at the capital!

Clancy: Ya know? Yeah! Then there’s a reason to cover the Governor’s Ball or whatever they have there every year…

John: Yeah, right! You’d have Schwarzenegar over there, and Nuge here…

Clancy: Nuge there… And Jesse’s not done… He’s not done. He’ll run again

John: Jesse’s not done. He’ll run for Governor somewhere. He’ll get his foot in the pool, ya know.

Phil: Ted just wants to be Governor so he can open up all the state land and everything to hunting! (laughing) No more wildlife preserves or anything like that in Michigan.

John: (laughing) He could open up Deer Forest. [the local kiddie park/petting zoo – ed.]

Clancy: You could just drive it down the interstate, and…

Phil: And it’s also okay now to shoot the state bird! You go right ahead and…

John & Clancy: (laughing)

John: Robin season is open!

Phil: It’s robin season! They make a great little sandwich!

Clancy: (laughing)

John: That little robin red breast hogie! Man, oh man! Clancy Brown from “Carnivale,” what’s on your schedule now? You’ve got the new “Rugrats” thing, and you’re still SpongeBob’s guy…

Clancy: Yeah, SpongeBob is in production – “SpongeBob, the MOVIE!”

John: Is that right?

Phil: Really?

Clancy: Yeah, “SpongeBob, The Movie.”

John: Wow…

Phil: I was waitin’… I’ve been waiting! I can exhale now!

Clancy: (laughing) Yeah, you and most of us…

John: But what about stuff where we actually see you, though?

Clancy: Uh... I dunno! You know, they said that they weren’t gonna start up production of this for a while, so I guess I gotta go get a job! Which really bums me out!

John: Yeah…

Clancy: Cuz, now I actually have to…

Phil: Go back to work?

Clancy: It just ruins my holidays

John: That damned gainful employment! It sucks!

Clancy: No kiddin’! I gotta go find myself a job. I had a new baby, so…

Phil: Oh, really?

Clancy: So, it’s been great, cuz I’ve just been able to hang out with him and haven’t worried about working for a while, but I…

John: Really? When was the arrival?

Clancy: January 2nd, 2003.

John: Is that right?

Clancy: Yeah, so he’s about a year old.

John: Well, belated congratulations to you, my friend.

Clancy: Well, thank you very much!

John: Kids are wonderful, and they’re far more challenging than the “SpongeBob” voiceover work…

Clancy: And this TV show, that’s for sure!

Phil: Have you named him yet? (laughing)

Clancy: No, as a matter of fact.

John & Phil: (laughing)

Phil: Just call him “The Baby.”

Clancy: Just use “The Baby.”

John: “The Baby.”

Clancy: He’s the Baby.

John: Well, I’ve got two. I’ve got a sixteen-year-old and a twelve-year old, so you’ll be there soon enough, my friend!

Clancy: And they don’t have names either?

John: Yeah, we never named either one of them…

Clancy: (laughing)

John: Just the First One and the Second One, that’s their names.

Phil: Yeah, I just have me. I’m 38, and I still can’t take care of myself!

Clancy: I’m hoping he has a career in the CIA. He could be a completely off the books, kind of Wet Ops kinda guy.

John & Phil: (laughing)

Phil: Wet Ops…

John: Wet Ops! My son, the Wet Ops agent…

Clancy: There’s a lot of that wet work going on right now, lemme tell ya…

John: I bet there is, I bet there is! Hey, Clancy Brown… Thanks, buddy! I really appreciate it.

Clancy: Thanks, you guys! It’s been fun!

Phil: Yeah…

John: I’ve told you that every week, but I really can’t describe to you how much it’s meant to us.

Clancy: It’s been early! (laughing)

John: Yeah, it’s been early…

Phil: It’s been early, it’s been often, but it’s been awesome!

Clancy: (chuckling)

John: And thanks to…I gotta throw out, as long as we’re on the air talking about it, to Beth Blighton at the Clancy Brown Fan Club.

Phil: Yeah!

John: She’s been incredibly diligent in transcribing these things, and I’ve been getting emails, I mean, from people all over… Literally, all over the world!

Clancy: Have ya?!?

Phil: Oh, yeah!

John: Yeah! New Zealand, Australia! From people who are reading the transcripts of these interviews, and then sending me emails saying that, “We wish that we could pick up your station, and Clancy’s great!” and all this. So… Just outstanding!

Clancy: Good!

Phil: Yeah, send money and we can boost our signal!

Clancy: There ya go!

John: Take up a collection for that new New Zealand transmitter!

Clancy: (laughing) That’s right!

John: Hey Clancy, thanks again, man! And I’ll stay in touch. Believe me, I’m gonna keep buggin’ you, okay?

Clancy: All right. Great! That’ll be good.

John: All right, Buddy…

Clancy: Take it easy, you guys.

Phil: Yeah, thanks!

John: Clancy Brown from “Carnivale.” Thank you very much! What a guy, huh?

Phil: Awesome!

John: I’m so disappointed that show is over!

Phil: I can’t wait to see him in his next project!

John: I guess on Sunday nights now, I’ll turn off the TV and talk to my family…

Phil: Yeah…

John: Just until something new starts! (laughing)

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