WIRX “Decoding Carnivale” Call-in with Clancy Brown • 10-27-03

This is the transcript from Clancy’s radio call-in segment on Southwest Michigan’s WIRX/Rock 107.1, with John Jay and Brother Phil.

This week’s interview ran into a few glitches… The phone gods were not being kind to our intrepid Decoders, as you will see. But here’s to Brother Phil and Shelley Morgan for soldiering on and getting the technical difficulties cleared up, and here’s to Clancy for being a good sport and keeping his great sense of humor…

John Jay was on vacation when this interview was aired, and so Brother Phil and Shelley Morgan handled the “Decoding Carnivale” segment.

Phil: Rock 107/ WIRX, 8:06 with John Jay in the Morning – Minus John Jay. I’m trying to get ahold of Clancy right now. I will be successful… I swear. The technical difficulties will be taken care of… We’ll do that right after ZZ Top, “Cheap Sunglasses” on Rock 107/WIRX…

(What follows is a comedy of errors, with our DJs trying valiantly to get the phones to behave, and the phones just as stubbornly refusing to. But we’ll spare everyone the gory details of that, and join the conversation when all that silly technical stuff finally starts to cooperate!)

Phil: WIRX, it’s 8:28 in the morning, and I do believe we FINALLY have Clancy Brown on the air. Can you hear us?

Clancy: Can you hear me?

Shelley: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding!

Phil: YES! He’s here!

Clancy: Oh, you can hear me now?

Phil: Yeah!

Clancy: Aw, darn…

Phil: I can hear you over my headphones. Hopefully we’re all going out OVER THE AIR and everything like that! (They were – ed.) Like we’re SUPPOSED TO here in the radio business!

Clancy: Nah, there’s nothing but dead air… (laughing)

Phil: Dead air is a very uncomfortable thing in this business…

Clancy: (Chuckling) Oh, man…

Phil: And speaking of death… Last night, the beginning… I thought, until I knew it was a dream sequence going on, that you had… I’m like, well, that’s it! Clancy’s off the show! He just jumped off a bridge! (laughing)

Clancy: Yeah, I jumped off a bridge, I can’t help ya anymore!

Phil: That was a very, VERY good show last night!

Clancy: Yeah… You liked that?

Phil: Yes, I did!

Clancy: It gave you a little bit more explanation, so you knew what was going on?

Phil: Yeah, it did. It was… I particularly enjoyed the broken bone.

Clancy: Yeah, and the big dumb guy talked!

Phil: Oh, yeah!

Clancy: Yeah!

Phil: I was like… I thought I was watching the NFL… You come out and they show you laying on the side of the riverbank there, with a nasty broken leg.

Clancy: Yeah, I got my old Joe Theisman leg on…

Phil: Oh... My God, was that disgusting!

Clancy: (laughing)

Phil: And then, what was it, like ten or fifteen minutes later, Gabriel gets into the fight, falls against… and there’s ANOTHER broken bone, another compound fracture!

Clancy: There ya go!

Phil: That was very good.

Clancy: Yeah, but see? Ya know, Ben was around to take care of that one. He couldn’t help me.

Phil: No… So you’re the Russian boy?

Clancy: Ah, ya know, I’m looking at that kid who’s supposed to be me as a young man, and he doesn’t look anything like my baby pictures, I’ll tell ya that right now! (laughing)

Phil: (laughing) But at the end, though, they kinda zeroed in on the picture on the stairway…

Clancy: Yeah…

Phil: And, ya know… Well, everything… Ya know, John, bless his heart, he went to this film appreciation class in college.

Clancy: Ah…

Phil: I never did that, so I’m the kinda person that goes and watches a show or goes to a movie or something like that, and I’m very superficial! (chuckling) I don’t know if it’s just me or John’s class that he really gets into all these different messages and everything that are being sent out…

Clancy: (laughing)

Phil: That kind of stuff, to be honest with you, Clancy, goes right over my head!

Clancy: (laughing) Ya know what? If we were making it for everybody who went to film appreciation class, we’d be OFF THE AIR!

Phil: (laughing) That’s true.

Clancy: We’re makin’ it for you, Phil! (laughing)

Phil: Thank you.

Clancy: We’re making it for people who can’t tell the green button from the red button! (Laughing)

Phil: Ooh…

Shelley: OOH! OUCH! That hurt!

(Phil and Clancy laughing)

Clancy: It’s perfectly okay…

Phil: (laughing) That’s okay. I’ll take the abuse.

Clancy: (laughing hard)

Phil: It gets heaped upon me on a regular basis.

Clancy: That’s right. Next week, it will all seem funny.

Phil: Yes it will!

Clancy: That’s what I told my wife when she came stomping in this morning… “Oh, don’t worry, honey. It’s just a little early morning comedy!” (laughing)

(Phil and Shelly laughing)

Phil: His incompetence led to comedy…

Clancy: (laughing hard)

Phil: Incompetence is a form of comedy, by the way…

Shelley: (laughing)

Clancy: Ah…

Phil: So you’re the Russian boy. And I loved the radio thing last night.

Clancy: Yeah?

Phil: Yeah, I was just thinking to myself, “Oh, yeah, that’s the power of radio, my friend!”

Clancy: Yeah, and look who DIDN’T DIE!

Phil: (laughing) Exactly!

Clancy: The fat guy didn’t die!

Phil: (laughing) That’s excellent!

Clancy: Yeah!

Phil: So, no California… I really thought, ya know, boy, if everybody takes off for Hollywood, who’s gonna be left on the show?

Clancy: Yeah, that was a sad moment…

Phil: Half of the carnivale was supposed to go to California, until…

Clancy: Well, they’ll eventually get to California, they’ve just gotta get there all together!

Phil: And Rita, the bitch…

Clancy: Yeah, poor thing…

Phil: (laughing)

Clancy: Poor thing… She just has that man right around her finger, doesn’t she?

Phil: Oh, my God! When I saw her in the rearview mirror, I went, “Welp, that’s it! Shut it off. Get back out of the car…”

Clancy: (laughing) We’ve ALL been there! We’ve all been there…

Phil: (laughing) That’s true.

Shelley: (laughing)

Phil: He’s whipped.

Clancy: It’s like, “Oh. Man… How could I leave the Red Pig?”

Phil: (laughing) Yup!

Clancy: Like, who’s gonna get the Red Pig in California?

Phil: Exactly!

Clancy: (chuckling)

Phil: And then I particularly liked when Rita was talking to the midget, and he… She’s like, “Well, I can’t believe that he’s still running around out there!” No he’s not!

Clancy: “No, he’s not.”

Phil: (chuckling) So what have we got going on for next week? You are in some kind of living hell!

Clancy: I’m in the hospital…

Phil: I was talking to Beth earlier… It’s kinda like you’re in some kind of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” for you next week.

Clancy: Yeah, I’m having some of my issues addressed clinically!


(Shelley and Phil laughing)

Phil: (laughing) Yeah! SHOCK treatments!

Clancy: In that old fashioned, that old time clinical technique of, “Let’s just send him RIGHT over the edge! And THEN… bring him back!”

Phil: Exactly! He’s having kind of a mental problem, so we’re gonna shock the hell outta him!

Clancy: Oh, man!

Phil: Ooh… That looks…

Clancy: They did some research on that one, boy. The type of barbaric stuff that happened, ya know, pre-war, was pretty nasty!

Phil: So, how much are you involved in the show next week, as far as on-air time?

Clancy: Uh… Well, A LOT! I don’t really SAY much, I spend a lot of time screamin’!

Phil: (laughing) Screaming and drooling…

Clancy: (laughing hard)

Phil: Spit coming out…

Clancy: Yeah, I spend a lot of time catatonic, and sort of in that foggy space between heaven and hell…

Phil: Yes.

Clancy: But I’m in it, don’t worry. I’m in it.

Phil: That’s gonna be very, very exciting.

Clancy: It is.

Phil: And like we said, I dunno… Were we on the air when we were talking about this? Because I can’t remember whether or not we were on the air or off the air, at this point… (laughing)

Shelley: It’s all one big massive blur for you, eh?

Phil: Oh, it’s all just running together.

Clancy: It’s all a matter of faith…

Shelley: (laughing)

Phil: It’s all… Bright lights and clicky noises, I like to call it, when things start going haywire around here.

Clancy: (laughing hard)

Phil: The first seven episodes start this Sunday at 2 o’clock on HBO2?

Clancy: Oh, yes!

Phil: So if you haven’t been up to date, then you can watch… Starting at 2 o’clock, you’re having a bit of a “Carnivale” marathon going on.

Clancy: That’s right. You can have a “Carnivale” marathon. You will… Your brain will completely overload!

Shelley: Yeah, by 10 o’clock, you’re gonna be like Justin in the mental hospital.

Clancy: That’s right, you’ll be ready for the loony bin!

Shelley: Excellent!

Phil: That’s right. You WILL BE living bright lights and clicky noises…

Shelley: (laughing)

Phil: You’ll know what it’s like to be Brother Phil…

Shelley: To be Phil, exactly. (laughing)

Clancy: (laughing) I’ll be interested to see how many people will actually watch the WHOLE thing. That’s going to be a chore!

Phil: Well, ya know, I’m gonna have to take a look at the football schedule and see who the Bears are losing to… Well, no, they actually won.

Clancy: They won! And the Bengals won!

Phil: Yes they did, can you believe that?

Clancy: Hey, it’s our weekend! It’s loser weekend!

Shelley: (laughing)

Phil: Exactly! Well, not quite, because Detroit still lost… But they were playing the Bears, so… Ya know, somebody had to win that.

Clancy: That’s right, somebody had to win it!

Phil: Good Lord… Clancy Brown, thank you SO MUCH for being so patient with me!

Clancy: (laughing hard) I’m blaming John, man! He set you up!

Shelley: He totally did!

Phil: He did!

Shelley: Uh-huh!

Phil: He should have given me explicit instructions…

Shelley: Well, he should KNOW!

Phil: Written down… I told him, too!

Shelley: You’re his brother! He should know that saying, “Hey, do this, this, this, and this,” is NOT going to sink in with Phil.

Phil: Yeah, he should have known that!

Clancy: (laughing) He’s just giggling… He’s listening… He’s listening in on the short wave, just giggling right now at you, man…

Phil: Exactly.

Shelley: He’s still drunk from the night before, cuz they’re in Cabo, for cryin’ out loud.

Clancy: Oh, my God! Well, what are YOU gonna do to get even, Phil? That’s what I wanna know…

Phil: Well, I’m not showing up next Monday!

(Clancy and Shelley laughing hard)

Phil: Nah, I’m kidding… I’ll be here – to have more abuse heaped on me, I’m sure!

Clancy: (just giggling)

Shelley: Oh, wow!

Phil: Are there any more insights or anything you can give us, as far as what’s gonna be happening next week, other than , of course, the drooling and spitting and shocking?

Clancy: Oh…well, what happens next week is Ben goes off on a little journey to find a new Carnie act.

Phil: Wow!

Clancy: And runs into another piece of his story.

Phil: Excellent! I liked the dead fish last night… That was very cool.

Clancy: And then we’re supposed to wonder if that was all set up or whether it was just by accident that he comes across this…

Shelley: So is he going to another carnivale, or is he just wandering the earth looking for another Carnie act?

Clancy: No, he’s… They get a hot tip that there’s a Lobster Boy somewhere!

Shelley: Whoa! Right on!

Phil: The bald albino?

Clancy: Well, the albino takes care of the Lobster Boy, cuz freaks kinda hang out together, I guess.

(Phil and Shelley laughing)

Clancy: And it might be a Lobster Girl… I’m not really sure. But anyway, they go after her. And, of course, there’s a whole line-up of Carnivales there, ready to offer her a ticket to showbiz.

Phil: Excellent!

Clancy: And Ben gets there and has to try to convince her to come to the carnivale…

Shelley: He turns on the charm, does he?

Clancy: He turns on the charm… He says, “Hey, ya know what? I can fix those flippers for ya!”

Phil: Yeah…

Shelley: But then she wouldn’t be the Lobster Girl!

Clancy: Well, exactly! See what kind of commerce conundrum it turns out to be?

Shelley: How about that?

Clancy: It’s a complex show!

Shelley: (laughing) I guess so!

Phil: “And if you don’t come with me, I’ll give you a compound fracture!”

Clancy: That’s right! (chuckling)

Phil: Cuz that was the order of the day yesterday.

Clancy: (laughing hard)

Phil: You gotta love the compound fracture!

Clancy: “The Compound Fracture Show!”

Phil: I almost lost my lunch twice last night!

Shelley: Sweet!

Phil: (making barfing noises)

Clancy: (laughing hard)

Phil: My God!

Clancy: Well, you wouldn’t have lost it if you’d gone to film school… That’s for sure.

Shelley: (laughing hard)

Phil: Yeah, if I’d gone to film school…

Clancy: Take that film appreciation class…

Phil: Yeah, if I’d gone to film school I could have sat there for the next half hour after the show and decoded it myself! I think John just gets WAY too deep into these things!

Clancy: You should have used that half hour to like get up on the technical… the techniques of running that board there… (laughing)

Shelley: (laughing hard)

Phil: Ya know, I’ve seen John sittin’ all over “The Jetsons” for a half hour, after it’s been over!

Clancy: (laughing his ass off.)

Phil: Trying to see some kind of message in “Garfield”!

Clancy: There ya go… “Garfield” is full of em’!

(Phil and Shelley laughing)

Phil: He gets WAY too into it…

Clancy: “Garfield” is WAY more devious than “Carnivale”…

Phil: Well, thanks so much, Clancy!

Clancy: All right!

Phil: You know, I’m probably not gonna have that hard of a time hangin’ up on ya!

(Clancy and Shelley laughing hard)

Phil: I think I can figure that out!

Shelley: You’ve done that a couple times already this morning!

Phil: I’ve been hanging up on you ALL MORNING!

Clancy: I’m gonna send my wife roses today and say they’re from YOU!

Shelley: Now THAT’S a smart move!

Phil: Thank you very much!

Shelley: Whoa… you are a smart man!

Phil: Excellent! Thanks so much…

Clancy: Seeya later!

Shelley: Have a great day!

Phil: Clancy Brown, ladies and gentlmen…

Shelley: Hey, we did it! We got him on the air Phil!

Phil: Yes we did…

Shelley: Now just turn that one button off now…

Phil: Yeah. We can turn that button off… And ya know what? I DID have problems hanging up on him! How bout that?

Shelley: How ‘bout that? (laughing)


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