WIRX “Decoding Carnivale” Call-in with Clancy Brown • 10-13-03

This is the transcript from Clancy’s radio call-in segment on Southwest Michigan’s WIRX/Rock 107.1, with John Jay and Brother Phil.

John: It’s about eleven minutes after eight o-clock, News Center 16 says today, sunny and seventy. Beautiful! Right now it’s about fifty-eight. And you know what we do…

Phil: Yeah!

John: Every single Monday. You know what we do!

Phil: We have fun!

John: We wait for this crazy weird-ass music to start. (“Carnivale” theme song starts up) Very creepy, very, sorta strange in nature, which fits perfectly with our lovely guest…

Phil: Yeah?

John: Clancy Brown…

Clancy: (Clancy laughing in background)

Phil: Our lovely guest…

John: Brother Justin… He is a lovely, lovely man.

Clancy: You gotta love that.

Phil: “Could you please not introduce me as lovely?”

Clancy: You’re both lovely people.

John: “For godsakes! I’m Officer Hadley! I’m anything but lovely!”

Clancy: Such a lovely show…

John: Yeah, it’s Clancy Brown, LIVE in California. We’re “Decoding Carnivale.” Welcome to the show once again!

Clancy: What’s up?

John: On a Monday morning… Hey, nothing man. I mean, nothing and everything.

Clancy: Nothing and everything…

John: We’ve got… It’s the salad says of being a radio show, these days.

Clancy: (laughing) Is that right?

John: We’ve got a show like “Carnivale” to talk about, we’ve got Rush Limbaugh addicted to painkillers, we’ve got the Cubs on the brink of the World Series… Life is pretty good right now!

Phil: Yeah!

Clancy: Isn’t it?

John: Yeah!

Clancy: Can you believe that? Who’re you gonna root for if the Cubs and the Sox go in?

John: I gotta go with the Cubs, are you kiddin’ me?

Phil: Hell, yeah!

Clancy: Aw, jeez…

John: But what a series that would be, huh?

Clancy: What a series that would be IF Boston won. What would they all complain about in New England anymore?

John: I know!

Phil: It’d have to be back to the weather.

Clancy: It would be California!

John: They’d start screamin’ about… Yeah, if Boston won the series, they would… ya know, nobody could talk about that “Curse of the Bambino” nonsense anymore.

Phil: Yeah…

Clancy: But the whole identity of a region of our country would be lost.

John: (laughing) That would be right.

Clancy: But I’m rooting for the Cubs, too. We can’t do that, we can’t leave them…

John: But it’s the same thing with the Cubs, though. If the Cubs won the series…

Phil: Oh, God…!

John: I mean, if the Cubs won the series, what are the Chicago sports fans gonna bitch about?

Phil: The Bears.

Clancy: The Bears. I mean, Chicago is like… They love baseball anyway. They’ll just say it was a fluke.

John: Well, the Bears at least have a world championship under their belt.

Clancy: That’s true.

John: They’ve got ONE!

Phil: They’ve got one, yeah…

John: All right! All right!

Clancy: Back to business…

John: Yeah, back to business!

Clancy: Back to the important stuff! Let’s talk about TV!

Phil: Totally confused.

John: I swore myself off that show last night?

Clancy: WHY?!?

Phil: (laughs)

John: (crying) Cuz I’m lost… Clancy, I’m lost!

Clancy: You’re LOST?

Phil: Yeah, he’s always…

John: What the hell is the…?

Clancy: Just because… Just because we took a night off from Ben and Justin…?

John: What the hell was Ben doing in a mineshaft?

Clancy: That’s intense, isn’t it?

John: Oh, my God!

Clancy: How did he end up in that mineshaft? Or is it a MIND shaft???

John: I think it’s a… Yeah! That’s what it was!

Phil: (laughing) That’s a mind shaft, yeah!

John: It’s a mind-something! I don’t know if I’d use the word shaft, but it’s something!

Clancy: (chuckling)

John: Yeah, so Ben ends up drunk in Babylon. We see him stumbling out of the bar. Next thing you know, he is…

Clancy: Underground.

John: He is under the earth’s crust, running into Scudder and a pickaxe murder victim, with a Zippo, and… What the hell, man?

Clancy: I dunno. You know what I thought was weirdest about that? That Zippo never ran out of fuel!

John: I know!

Clancy: And he never burned his hand.

John: (laughing) That’s what I kept thinkin’ – it never burned his hand.

Clancy: Well, he heals… He heals quick.

John: Well, that’s right. He’s a quick healer.

Clancy: They set that one up really good.

John: And then we lost a -- just by way of recap – we lost a cooch dancer last night.

Clancy: That was a shame.

John: Yeah, she’s a harlot. She shouldn’t have done the “blow-off.”

Clancy: She shouldn’t have done the “blow-off!” The “blow-off” shouldn’t have been done! She shouldn’t have listened to Mama.

John Yeah! And Samson TOLD them not to do the “blow off” cuz he didn’t trust the crowd. And that was a pretty twisted lookin’ crowd that came into the Carnivale last night.

Phil: And it sucks every time you lose a harlot.

Clancy: Yeah, it’s true. Even if she wasn’t a harlot, but they thought she was a harlot… It sucks every time you lose anybody on TV that’s willing to take their clothes off!

John: Right!

Phil: That’s right!

John: But you didn’t have a… You, you did a… The role of Brother Justin last night, was more voiceover than anything else.

Clancy: Oh, yeah, yeah… That was a big show for the Carnivale, so I didn’t mind the week off.

John: Is that right?

Clancy: (chucking) Yeah…

John: What is it like, as an actor, when you’re playing a key role in a show and you get the script… I mean, how far ahead of time did you get the script for that week’s show?

Clancy: We got it pretty far ahead of time.

John: Didja?

Clancy: Yeah, I had my little moment of nervousness, but then you see the script and you see how good it is, and I thought that was a tremendous show last night.

John: (chuckling) I did too! It just was, ya know… My wife and I watched the show, I swear to God, we watched the show, looked at each other and went, “Geesh… Uh….”

Phil: “I have nothing…”

John: “I got nothin’!”

Clancy: “I got nothin’…” I just thought that was the scariest show so far.

John: It was definitely scary when, a really skin-crawling, bone-chilling moment for me on that show was when they… the quick little camera shot of all the people outside the bar…?

Clancy: (chuckling) Oh… Oh, God!

John: Was that Creepsville, or what?

Clancy: Oh, my God! Wasn’t it?

Phil: Ooh…

John: And the thing is, what made my skin crawl more than anything else, is that nothing happened.

Clancy: That’s right.

John: They’re in there, the Carnivale people are in there dancing and drunk off their ass, and you see this quick little shot through the dingy glass of the door of all these grungy townsfolk with their little lanterns, standing there, but you can’t make out any faces. All you can see is like the outline of hats and the little lanterns. You’re like, “Holy crap!”

Phil: Whoa!

Clancy: Welcome to Voyeur Town!

(All three laughing)

John: Oh, man! What the hell are they doing in there?

Clancy: Well, some of it will get explained in the next show. But that’s a creepy place, Babylon. Nobody wanted to go.

John: Yeah.

Clancy: Now we see why.

John: Exactly, man. It’s not a pleasant place to be.

Clancy: No…

John: And then Lodz, and his savage addiction to that absinthe stuff?

Clancy: That was great.

John: He had, what did they call it?

Clancy: The clanks.

John: The clanks!

Clancy: (laughing)

John: Now that absinthe, I read about that. What did they used to call that, like the Green Death, and all kinds of really weird little nicknames for this kind of drink where you strain some kind of liquor over a…

Clancy: Over a sugar cube.

John: Yeah! Into a glass…

Clancy: Yeah, yeah… If you wanna find out about it, you go online, and all the stoners will let you know what a gift from God it is. I think it has some kind of similarity to marijuana, in what it does. But I’m no expert and it’s not good for ya!

Phil: No…

John: No, unlike the weed it’s savagely addicting, and it was very popular in the early part of the 20th century.

Phil: Way back when…

Clancy: And ya know, a lot of things were legal back then. Ya know, drugs were good for you back then.

John: (laughing) Yeah!

Phil: Yeah, Coca-Cola actually had cocaine in it.

Clancy: That’s right

John: Yeah, the “medicinal” properties of the absinthe… (Old country doctor voice) “You know what you need, darlin’ is a huge pile of cocaine! It’ll make you feel better!”

Clancy: (also in country doctor voice) “A little arsenic, a little cocaine, a little absinthe… That’ll cure your ails…”

John: God, yeah! So you had a small role in the show, other than the voiceover. What’s coming up for us next week with Brother Justin?

Clancy: Oh, Brother Justin is, uh… Brother Justin is deeply hurt and deeply confused. And he’ll go on a journey to discover what the heck is going on with himself.

John: Is that right?

Phil: Hmm…

Clancy: Yeah, but I don’t wanna give away too much. I mean, this show was about the Carnivale and that aspect of our narrative so, ya know, it was kinda interesting to spend that much time, I thought. Like we got to see the Cooch family, and that whole dynamic… Holy Moly!

John: Yeah!

Clancy: What a couple of weirdos!

John: Yeah, that was totally strange.

Clancy: Did you know that they were all related? I mean, did you get that before – that they were husband and wife and daughter?

John: I wasn’t clear on the… I knew, I think I got that the two dancers were sisters…

Clancy: Yeah.

John: But I wasn’t sure that Stumpy was Dad and the other was Mom.

Clancy: (chuckling) Stumpy IS Dad!

John: (laughing) But we got that last night!

Clancy: Oh, goodness… All hell’s gonna break loose!

Phil: That’s just strange…

John: Yeah!

Phil: Stumpy is DAD…

John: I love the little scene there cryin’ behind the tent, and Stumpy comes around – the loving father of the COOCH SHOW DANCER!

Clancy: Yeah!

John: And says. “Put this on it so it won’t pus up!”

Clancy: Oh, yeah! Yeah!

Phil: (groans) Oh, God…!

Clancy: “Here ya go, sweetie. Aw… jeez…”

Phil: (making puking sounds)

John: That was so great because what father HASN’T had that moment with his daughter?

Phil: Yeah.

Clancy: That’s right…

John: In those immortal words, “Put this on it so it don’t pus up!”

Clancy: (doing Stumpy voice) “So it don’t pus up!!!”

John: (laughing) Whew! The show is totally brutal, man…absolutely brutal. And then the previews for next week, you… The line I’m lookin’ forward to… I’m looking forward to seeing, I’ll be honest with you, is the struggling Brother Justin. You’ve lost your God.

Clancy: Oh, yeah boy…

John: You’re faith is shaken.

Clancy: My faith is shaken! And whose wouldn’t be? Whose wouldn’t be?

John: Well, sure. After the plaintive wailing at the knees of a bunch of burned-up twelve-year-olds…

Clancy: That’s right. The fella that says, in that little preview, “What’s your story, friend?” Strangely enough, he’s an old college buddy of mine.

John: Is that right?

Clancy: We did plays together at Northwestern.

John: No kiddin’?

Clancy: Isn’t that strange, we end up like that? Just a little aside…

John: All right.

Phil: It’s a small world.

John: I’ll take that.

Clancy: It IS a small world, it’s a damned small world! Rob Knepper is the actor…

John: Speaking of people that you’ve worked with. I’ve got a note here, and if I don’t ask this… I was supposed to have asked this for the last three weeks I’ve talked to ya.

Clancy: Okay.

John: On “Earth 2,” that TV show you were on for a little while…?

Clancy: Yup!

John: Tim Curry?

Clancy: (chuckles) Yeah…

John: What was it like working with my man, Tim Curry? That guy is wild!

Clancy: (laughing) He is… He is wild! He is! He’s one of the funniest men alive, and he doesn’t take anything very seriously.

John: You get that impression just watching him work.

Phil: Um-hmm.

Clancy: That’s right. I ended up working with him a lot after that on a show called “The Mighty Ducks” – a cartoon.

John: Right.

Clancy: And so we would just end up laughing most of the time we were doing the cartoon show.

John: When you see him now, do you, as an actor, say, “Hey, thanks a lot for helping me out when that “Sgt. Bilko” thing came out!”

Clancy: (laughing) He’s got the greatest resume… He’s got like “Sgt. Bilko,” he’s got “McHale’s Navy,” ya know?

John: Yeah, “McHale’s Navy” is the one I’m thinkin’ about.

Clancy: He really doesn’t care WHAT he does, as long as the check clears.

John: “Home Alone II.”

Clancy: (laughing) “Home Alone II.”

John: How about Tim Curry as a hotel concierge? That one I’m not buying. That guy is altogether too scary to be working in a hotel in New York.

Clancy: Oh, man…

John: Yeah, I love Tim Curry, big fan!

Phil: Yup!

John: Big, big fan of Tim Curry… And ya know, you’ve got a big LONG list of people you’ve worked with like that. So that’s pretty cool!

Clancy: Yeah, there’s a whole bunch… Who haven’t I worked with? (mogul voice) I’ve worked with em all! Big and small, great and not-so-great.

Phil: Was that your first venture into cartoon-type voiceover work?

Clancy: One of the first. And it was nice and cozy, cuz Tim was there.

John: Well, that’s cool. Hey, are you doing other voiceover stuff, too? I thought I heard your voice on a Dodge commercial the other day.

Clancy: Uh, probably Chrysler.

John: Is that it?

Clancy: Yeah, I’m selling Chryslers now…

John: Excellent! I KNEW I heard ya!

Clancy: Hey, and I got Arnold elected, too! Or at least I’m taking credit for it…

Phil: Well, good!

John: How’s that?

Clancy: I did a little commercial voiceover for him, as well. (http://www.joinarnold.com/en/press/pressqt.php?v=Momentum )

John: Did you really?

Clancy: Yeah!

John: (laughing)

Phil: Wow!

Clancy: Yeah, how ‘bout that, huh?

Phil: You’re popping up all over the place!

John: Yeah, that’s right.

Clancy: I’m tellin’ ya… (laughing) I’m gold! How’s your ratings been since you’ve been talking to me? (chuckling)

John: (Arnold voice) “I got elected Governor on da strength of Clancy Brown’s endorsement, and everything like dat…”

Clancy: (Arnold voice) “Dat’s right… Don’t listen to dose women.”

John: (Arnold voice) “It vas just a little bit of da ass-grabbing…”

Clancy: (Arnold voice) “I vas a young man den…”

John: (Arnold voice) “I vas on da set of “Eraser” and my box-headed wife, Maria, she knew about it all…”

Clancy: Ooh, ooh… rough on Maria there...

Phil: Yeah.

John: Yeah, it’s tough… it’s tough. Hey, Clancy Brown, thanks once again! I wanna thank you for doing this with us each week. Is there one thing you can leave us with about last night’s show that might help us make the transition to next week?

Clancy: Ooh…

Phil: Yeah, cure John’s headache.

John: Yes, please!

Clancy: Just remember we’re about to witness “Carnival Justice” and that is NOT to be missed.

Phil: Ah…

John: That was the best line of the whole show! Isn’t it Samson who said that to Ben?

Clancy: No, it was Lodz.

John: Oh yeah, that’s right! (Lodz’s Hannibal Lechter voice) “Get ready to see a little carnivale justice, boy…” That’s classic!

Phil: Ooh… Oh, boy!

Clancy: That’s gonna be fun!

John & Phil: Yup, that’s gonna be great.

Clancy: “Stand up tall before THE BOX! I don’t care who it is, as long as it’s one of YOUR people.”

John: Do what now?

Clancy: Well, there’s another line in the preview where Samson says, “We need somebody to ‘Stand up tall before The Box.’” Whatever that means…

Phil: Mmm-hmmm…

John: Are we gonna find out what that means next Sunday?

Clancy: (chuckling) Oh, YEAH! Man… Oh, yeah.

Phil: With a snicker…

John: With a snicker he says, “Oh, yeah…”

Phil: I have a feeling The Box isn’t a pleasant place to be.

John: Yeah.

Clancy: Don’t worry, we’ll get back to the elliptical, confusing, uber-story here pretty soon. But enjoy these two episodes, cuz they’re pretty much about what they’re about.

John: And best of luck to Beth for trying to transcribe “elliptical show, uber…”

Phil: “Uber…”

John: “Uber”- whatever. I dunno what the hell he just said, either! (laughing)

Clancy: (laughing) We were a little rough on her last week… She is… She’s the reason we’re all here, so…

John: Once again, Clancy Brown from “Carnivale.” Thank you SO much, my man, for spending time with us.

Phil: Thank you very much!

Clancy: All right, talk to you later, guys!


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